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On top of the Running Man is the Flying Man, Baby.

I've been working on a little project called "Operation Max Martin." Max is the Swedish producer who makes all pop music in the western world, from Britney Spears to N'Sync, to that new chick, Justin Bieber, they're all faces for Max's carefully formulated ear heroin. The master plan for Operation Max Martin, is to create a Pop song so catchy, so mesmerizing on a primordial level that it could rewrite the human brain and lead directly to total global domination. So, needles to say it struck my interest a short while ago when a portly Korean rapper known by Psy, managed to beat me to it. But wait! You say, Gangnam Style is just a great tune, with a catchy beat and very clever lyrics that most of us anglophones don't have a clue are clever lyrics! Well my friend, I'm not the only one who known the truth. No, this song is a bold new weapon in neural meta virus technology! The latest in a long line of culturally based weapons of mass destruction, such as how the Beatles brought down the Soviet Union, or when Hitler was stopped with the awesome power of the world's funniest joke! (Carefully implanted by soldiers who didn't speak German.) This is a summons to arms! We can't permit a Pop song gap!

I have dedicated a vast portion of my nefarious army of super villainy (Phil) to researching this phenomena. However, much like the sun, it needs to be studied indirectly least it transforms one's retinas into a pile of charred goo (sorry Phil, live and learn.) Way, way back in the 1990's there was a barometer for determining cultural success, being when one's song was parodied by Weird Al Yankovic, or when one appeared on the Simpsons (Like Al Yankovic.) But society has moved on, and technology has advanced to the point where we can directly analyze the subtleties of the zeitgeist in real time. Ladies and Gentlemen, let us torn to the YouTube-o-scope-o-vision-o-meter, and look closely at the cultural reflection of this particular arrangement of air pressure wave patterns...





With close to a billion views on Youtube, and bouts of spontaneous street dancing, we could be facing a repeat of the great rock war of 1978.

Consider this a warning world governments, for I too am a man bulging with ideas instead of muscles, filled with such intensity I one-shot my coffee before it even cools down.

posted by davethecat @ November 23rd, 2012, 12:30 pm  -  1 Comments

Reader Comments:


It is a little known fact that the Macarena was created by Los del Río as the last attempt by Fidel Castro to destroy the United States. Though it was hopelessly outclassed by boy bands of mass destruction.

posted by davethecat, December 18th, 2012, 2:41 pm

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